Use this template to guide your review of your partner’s essay. Answer all questions here, and feel free to add additional notes outside of the categories below.

REMEMBER: Be respectful of the work your partner has put in. Treat your partner as you like to be treated.

Does the essay follow the task? How do you know this? [Look at the assignment itself and the guidelines given.] Yes, the essay follows the task of exploring the role of genetics in mental and psychiatric disorders. The author discusses the topic and provides evidence from various studies to support their claims.

Locate the thesis–and say it in your own words to be sure you understood it.

Now find the topic sentences. Does each topic sentences sum up or introduce its paragraph effectively? The thesis of the essay is that mental and psychiatric disorders have a genetic component, and understanding this genetic role is crucial for better prevention and treatment strategies.

The topic sentences effectively sum up or introduce their respective paragraphs. Each paragraph focuses on a specific study or aspect related to the role of genetics in mental and psychiatric disorders.

Is evidence being used for any and all statements made? Does the author introduce, analyze, and explain the evidence? What’s the strongest piece of evidence?

Yes, evidence is being used to support the statements made in the essay. The author introduces the studies conducted by various researchers and provides details about their methodologies and findings. They also explain the significance of the evidence in establishing the genetic component of mental and psychiatric disorders.

The strongest piece of evidence is the study by Gandal et al. (2018), which analyzed 700 postmortem brain samples and performed a genome-wide association study (GWAS). The study found important overlaps in the genetic and molecular mechanisms underlying different psychiatric disorders, suggesting common genetic characteristics and supporting the notion that many psychiatric disorders are genetically related.

Does the paper read smoothly? Are there parts that seem out of place or confusing? (Mark these. Give suggestions if possible.) Add any transitions that would make the organization smoother. The paper reads smoothly overall. The information is presented logically and the paragraphs flow well. However, there are a few areas where the organization could be improved:

Consider providing a brief introduction at the beginning of the essay to set the context and introduce the topic of genetics in mental and psychiatric disorders.

The conclusion could be expanded to summarize the main points discussed in the essay and provide a stronger closing statement.

Write what you consider:

1.      the clearest sentence “The most overlap between disorders was observed ‘particularly between schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and depression'” (Lee et al., 2023, p. 1480).

2.      the most confusing sentence

“Though these disorders are highly complex and polygenic, they nonetheless share common biological mechanisms and genetic codes which are important to understand, so that better prevention and treatment strategies can be developed.”

Note here any suggested changes in wording, grammar, punctuation, or spelling:

What single change would make the most improvement in this essay?